My first week of classes went fairly well. I was forced to miss one discussion session thanks to medical appointments but now that I actually know my schedule that is the last such occurrence. All in all, I am satisfied with the classes I have. Given I’m going for a Creative Writing major I have three English classes and only one elective. I was worried at first at the workload from these courses but it ends up being far more manageable than I’d thought. It certainly opens up the possibility for taking on a little more next semester. Provided I can get a better schedule of course.
Being back at school so much later in my life is a bit strange but it’s also exciting. I find I am more motivated to get the work done than ever I was in my early years. Even if there are other things I’d rather be doing, and there usually are, I don’t have much trouble sitting down and getting on with my homework. I guess that comes with age.
At any rate, it’s time to take on my second week!
Had an early start to my big day so far. Woke up almost an hour before my alarm and dozed. Guess I was nervous about oversleeping. Hit up the public bus system for the first time in many years and discovered my chosen bus gets me to school a little too early. Guess I don’t need to get up quite so early. An early win!
So now I’m sitting outside of my first class. My only class for today actually. Feels a bit silly to go through all of this for just one class but my schedule options were very limited being a transfer student whose application was approved in late December. Thankfully that won’t be the case for next semester. (Apparently we can sign up for those classes in two months or so. Crazy.)
Guess I’ll get some writing done.
I’m watching a little movie that came out in 1990 called Pump Up the Volume. Again. I’m not sure how many times I’ve watched it, but it’s definitely over 20 but less than 100. It’s become my go-to movie when I don’t know what I want to watch, or even when I don’t know what to do. If I were to sum it up I’d call it a coming of age story about a high school pirate radio DJ who is searching for meaning in life. The funny thing about this movie is I hadn’t seen it until 2006 or 2007. Go figure.
On the one hand I find the dated aspects of the movie really amusing. In part because I remember what it was like. I wasn’t quite in high school by 1990 so it was probably a bit over my head at the time. On the other hand, I feel like the search for meaning, the struggle to figure out who we are: these things are timeless. Perhaps that is why I come back to this movie again and again. In the end the message of the movie is to find and use your voice. The movie uses pirate radio DJ’s but it was made before blogging or any of the other many free and easily accessed methods people can use to get their thoughts and whatever out into the ether. I myself sat in front of the family computer many a night wishing I could do or write something meaningful, then put it out there for other people. Some things never change I suppose.
Dream on folks. Find your voice and use it.
I am officially signed up for my classes. I’ve got four nailed down for sure and I’m wait-listed on one. If I manage to get into that class, and I really hope I do, I’m in for a busy semester. Way back in the day when I was first a full-time student I took six or seven classes my first two semester. Sounds crazy but they were just general education classes for the most part so they weren’t terribly difficult or intensive. They also weren’t terribly interesting. (Definitely a contributing factor for why I dropped out all those years ago.) Now though I’m basically a junior/senior so my classes should be much more involved. Having been gone from college for so long, and also not being familiar with this one, I do wonder just how big of a workload I’ve signed up for.
It’s also been a very long time since I had to deal with homework. Of course the real working world sucks a whole lot more than homework so I think all of the perspective and experience I’ve gathered since my first college try will help it suck a bit less.
Overall I’m feeling super excited, nervous, and anxious to get started. This will be my last weekend before school starts so it’s all about relaxing (if possible) and making sure I have everything ready. I’m in for some busy days.
So today is the day. I get to sign up for classes and all that jazz. It’s pretty strange being back at school and knowing I’m here to be a full-time student. It’s been 16 years since the list time I had the opportunity, both financially and with life obligations. Part of me wishes I could give at least some of my experience and perspective to my 19 year old self back then so that maybe I wouldn’t have dropped out. I was disappointed when I did at the time but I really didn’t know what I was going to school for. College as a place holder just didn’t work for me. Now is different though.
Today I start the process of honing my writing skills, and perhaps other skills as well if the second major I want pans out. It’s both exciting and scary to be here but I’m glad I am.
Finally finished Chapter 13 of my NaNoWriMo novel. My protagonist found herself back in the hospital and for some reason I found the scene very difficult to write. When I took my extended writing break I was probably only halfway through the chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen but couldn’t seem to work it out when I sat down to write. I managed to put a couple of sentences down here and there but nothing significant. Until tonight.
Or course the whole thing was made more difficult because everything leading up to this scene wasn’t fresh anymore. I had to stop to look up details more than once, which is always annoying. For the past two novels as long as I kept up a steady pace I could generally keep track of all the important names, details, and events. Guess that’s what I get for letting my doubt demons get the better of me. Oh well, the chapter is done and I can FINALLY move on to more fun and exciting scenes.
It’s been over a month since my last post here. It’s been only a little less time since I put any serious time into writing. And yet I think about it every day, multiple times a day. I’m not exactly sure why I stopped writing. I know part of it was being tired. I was tired of the daily posts, status updates, and whatnot. I live with a strange dichotomy within myself in that part of me desperately wants and needs to express myself either through my writing or some other creative means, and an almost equal part of me wants to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. This is something I have always struggled with. At least I think so. It certainly feels that way.
I’ve got just over 30k words for my NaNo novel. And I’m just kind of stuck. Not because I don’t know what happens next. I do. I’ve been thinking about that a whole lot during this extended break. I’m not sure why I haven’t sat down to keep going then. I know I really don’t like the current scene. It feels off for some reason. I’m tempted to skip ahead and write another part then eventually fill in the missing stuff. Thing is I’ve written both of my full length novels sequentially. I’m not sure how jumping around will turn out for me. But maybe it’s time to give it a shot.
Regardless, this kind of lull in my writing has been pretty scary. I question myself daily whether or not I really have the drive and ability to make this my living. There’s no question it’s going to be a long, slow road to even moderate success. Still, this is the hardest I’ve ever been hit by the doubt demons. Here’s hoping I can power through.
A Fuzzy Nerd's take on life, love, and the pursuit of awesomeness.