Category Archives: Insomnia

Brainstorming for Summer

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

With just two finals left this semester will be done before I know it. This has been making me anxious. Mostly because it means that my schedule next week and going forward will be up to me and it would be nice if I could manage to not waste this free time. After all how many 30 something’s get a real summer break? I know I never thought it would be possible once I was neck deep in the soul sucking 9 to 5 grind. To that end I’ve been thinking that it’s time to brainstorm and come up with a list of goals for this summer. So without further ado (and in no particular order), here is the list:

  1. Write book 3 of Stephen’s trilogy
  2. Do my own Let’s Play series with the Terraria 1.3 patch
  3. Do video readings for some of my short fiction
  4. Finish re-edits for Transformation & Induction
  5. Edit and publish Avatars & Identity
  6. Complete at least one Let’s Play + VG Writing Series (Fuzzy Adventures)
  7. Compile, edit, and publish the class fiction and poetry book
  8. Find and check out local writing meetup and social groups
  9. Design BFG Publishing website
  10. Shampoo the carpet
  11. Move my desk
  12. Re-organize this blog
  13. Write more short fiction & poetry (At least 1 poem & 1 short story/flash fiction per week)
  14. Send stuff to magazines/publishers every week
  15. Continue the Live Writing series or combine with some of the above

 

Whew. Looking at this list I realize that I have my work cut out for me this summer. This to-do list is in addition to the usual goofing around and just having fun that will be required to stay sane. I’m also going to have to prioritize if I want to get even half of this done. The Fuzzy Adventures series is something I’ve been thinking about most of this semester. I love video games and I love writing & reading. I wanted to combine those somehow. That’s when I struck on the idea for re-visiting some of the games that I loved so much as a kid and doing a combination let’s play with an episodic writing series. The basic idea is that I’ll play a game in sections and write a story to go along with it, also in sections. Basically I’d have a separate area of this blog devoted to these series with each game getting it’s own sub-section. Each blog entry would be an episode of the story and video both. I’ve got a short list of games I’m considering, but I’ll probably start with something short like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night instead of an epic length game like Final Fantasy 6.

I’m thinking the other thing I’ll need to help keep me on track is some kind of daily schedule. I’m not very good at sticking to schedules that I come up with on my own but I might need to give it a shot. Anyway, glad I finally got all of these thoughts down. The list reminded me that I’m missing a couple of key pieces of hardware that I’ll need for a number of these ideas. Amazon ho!

Writing into the Darkness

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

It’s almost 1 AM now and I’m still awake. Despite having morning class tomorrow and knowing that being up this late is going to make me super tired for my favorite class. This isn’t the first night this week I ended up late. Why? I’ve been asking myself that very same question and so far I don’t really have an answer.

Things aren’t particularly bad right now even if I do have a tone of work from school. With just three weeks left of classes, plus one week of finals, things are getting pretty intense. The two literature classes that were manageable all semester have become a bit overwhelming. Yet really it’s just a lot of reading. Nothing I’m not used to in the end. Except I’m having trouble sitting down and doing it. I’m distracted and I have trouble concentrating.

Dead Wesley Smith talks about writing into the dark on his blog. It’s the phrase he uses to describe writing when you have no plan, no plot, and no idea what you’re going to write about. You just start writing and go. I really like this idea and I’ve been itching to try it. Then I realized that’s pretty much what I always do with my blog entries. I don’t have a plan. Sometimes I have a thought and that’s my starting point. One little thought. Tonight my thoughts are rioting among the streets and alleyways of my mind and it’s making me crazy.

I’m sad and depressed, yet hopeful and determined. Mixed feelings describes it well. Then there’s the fear. The nagging, little voice in the back of my head fear that this is all going to come crashing down and I’m just a stupid little idiot for every thinking I could pull off writing for a living.

A poem written about fear and anxiety. By Aaron Lowe
A poem written about fear and anxiety.
By Aaron Lowe

A Wednesmonday

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

Three to five days a week I take the bus to school. All of my classes start just before 10 AM but due to the bus schedule I usually take the 8:10 or 8:39 bus that stops across the street from my apartment. This bus only runs during the morning and evening rush hours so if I miss it, I’m pretty SOL as far as getting to school by public transit. Needless to say I’m pretty good about getting up and being at the bus stop a couple of minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive. Usually they’re right on time +/- one minute. Today I was almost to the street at 8:07 when the bus was already pulling away from the stop. Lovely. Thankfully the 8:39 did not pull this same BS and was on time. So I got to my classroom early, but not as early as I usually do. I know, I know. First world problems. It’s just some days, coming on top of physical exhaustion I haven’t been able to shake for a couple of days, that kind of thing feels like a bigger deal than it really is. It’s not like I haven’t missed that first bus before because I certainly have. Those other times were very much my fault yet I didn’t get upset about it really. Just went back inside and waited 20 minutes to head back down.

I guess in the end all I’m really talking about is how strange our perception is at times and how heavily it influences how we perceive the events around us. The same event, missing the bus, could be taken any number of ways. Usually my mood is decent enough that it’s not really a problem, just something that happens from time to time. Yet today it was really annoying. It’s funny how some stress, anxiety, and a little poor sleep can really color your world in negative colors.

Midterm Madness (or Damn You Daylight Saving Time!!!)

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

This is a big week in school for me with two midterms, both in literature, on the same day. Coming on the end of an exhausting weekend has made this a tough Monday. Thanks to Daylight Savings my roommate’s bus to the airport came an hour early. Despite the fact that Daylight Saving didn’t officially start until 2AM on Sunday. No notice on their website of any kind that they decided to use midnight as the change over point. Thus did a frantic drive ensue where we powered down to O’Hare and back in the wee, and not so wee, hours of the morning on Sunday. To this I can say that naps do not adequately replace a full-night’s sleep and so today has been a very tired one.

On the writing front I’ll be submitting a few of my select pieces, poetry and fiction, to a couple of undergraduate contests. I’m pretty nervous about this and I have no idea what my chances are, but I’m going to go for it. The prizes are very small so it would definitely be more about the recognition and getting my work out there than anything else. It would also be nice to know that people like what I do. The hard part now is sitting down and deciding which items to submit. How do you know what your best work is?

As far as the whole audio book process goes, I’ve selected the reader/producer I want to work with but I am still waiting for ACX to finalize my account info. Until that happens I’m not allowed to make offers on their site. I know I submitted my books, and account info, late Wednesday night so effectively they’ve had 2.5 work days to get my stuff done. It still feels like it’s taking forever. I’m super eager to get this audio book show on the road already.

 

BTW, why for the love of my holey socks do we still observe Daylight Saving Time?! Enough is enough I say!


 

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Late Night, Old Movie

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

I’m watching a little movie that came out in 1990 called Pump Up the Volume. Again. I’m not sure how many times I’ve watched it, but it’s definitely over 20 but less than 100. It’s become my go-to movie when I don’t know what I want to watch, or even when I don’t know what to do. If I were to sum it up I’d call it a coming of age story about a high school pirate radio DJ who is searching for meaning in life. The funny thing about this movie is I hadn’t seen it until 2006 or 2007. Go figure.

On the one hand I find the dated aspects of the movie really amusing. In part because I remember what it was like. I wasn’t quite in high school by 1990 so it was probably a bit over my head at the time. On the other hand, I feel like the search for meaning, the struggle to figure out who we are: these things are timeless. Perhaps that is why I come back to this movie again and again. In the end the message of the movie is to find and use your voice. The movie uses pirate radio DJ’s but it was made before blogging or any of the other many free and easily accessed methods people can use to get their thoughts and whatever out into the ether. I myself sat in front of the family computer many a night wishing I could do or write something meaningful, then put it out there for other people. Some things never change I suppose.

Dream on folks. Find your voice and use it.

Back to it at Last

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

Finally finished Chapter 13 of my NaNoWriMo novel. My protagonist found herself back in the hospital and for some reason I found the scene very difficult to write. When I took my extended writing break I was probably only halfway through the chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen but couldn’t seem to work it out when I sat down to write. I managed to put a couple of sentences down here and there but nothing significant. Until tonight.

Or course the whole thing was made more difficult because everything leading up to this scene wasn’t fresh anymore. I had to stop to look up details more than once, which is always annoying. For the past two novels as long as I kept up a steady pace I could generally keep track of all the important names, details, and events. Guess that’s what I get for letting my doubt demons get the better of me. Oh well, the chapter is done and I can FINALLY move on to more fun and exciting scenes.

The Big Push

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

Day 1, Entry 1:

3:04 PM: It’s been awhile since I’ve done a whole lot on this blog or my book. Finally finished Chapter 10 the other day. Had a real hard time finishing the scene. Mostly because I wasn’t sure what I wanted the characters involved to do. I was actually getting pretty annoyed with them which is probably why by the end the decision was made for them. 🙂

Anyway, this will be the first of multiple entries on a daily basis as I make a big push to finish this book by my deadline. June 15th is right around the corner and I’m not quite halfway done with the book. As always there have been life events that have taken a lot of my attention. The biggest one is that we are moving very soon. That changed a whole lot of plans and has involved a lot of work, travel, and planning to figure out where we’re going to live and such. I’ll be going to a different college now of course, but the good news is this one has an actual Creative Writing major, not just English with a Creative Writing focus. As it is a much larger school it should also have more opportunities to meet other writers and find writer activities. Definitely something to look forward to. Now, on to the progress so far:

Woke up a little later than usual given we had such a crazy late night. You know it’s time for bed when the sun starts coming up. Had breakfast, worked on my WoW auctions, set up my boxing team to sit and farm for a couple of rare mounts then dove back into taking notes from my first completed Shroud short story Another Day at the Office. I’ve thought about doing this for that story and my first book before but hadn’t gotten around to it. While I was writing Chapter 10 I realized that someday soon I absolutely have to do it for the first book and probably this one as well. There’s too much going on for me to remember it all just yet. I’d actually forgotten that I came up with a real name for the mysterious Agency in my short story. Not to mention a whole lot of juicy facts about one of the races in my world.

Day 1, Entry 2:

5:12 PM: Managed to get about a thousand words down for Chapter 11. Finished one scene and started another. A good start to the day so far. I definitely delayed starting for a bit with some chores around the house. I realized I was worrying too much about what was going to happen in the book instead of concentrating on just what was happening “now”. I was also worrying too much about how good a job I was doing and that’s never helpful. I’ve read it over and over from other writers, ignore the worries and the inner critic and just write. Easier said than done though. Still, progress has been made! Time for a quick break and then diving back in.

Day 1, Entry 3:

8:37 PM: It was a slow start diving back into the book. Sometimes it’s easy for me to pick up a scene where I left off regardless of how much time has passed since I started it. In this case it was probably only a little over an hour. I stopped to heat up some lunch, catch up on my favorite YouTube channels, snag a shower and then take out the trash & recycling. Thankfully it started picking up about halfway through and I got another 1,500 words down. That puts me about halfway to my minimum goal for today of 5k words. I technically only need to do about 4.5k per day to hit my target of 100k words for this book, but I’d rather do a little more and get done sooner if possible. Anyway, today has been pretty productive so far. Time for another break.

Day 1, Entry 4

1:39 AM: A rather long break this time since dinner and catching up on the day needed to happen. Once everyone else was in bed it was time to get back to it. Managed to dive right back in sometime after midnight and banged out another 1.3k words. I’m sitting pretty at 3,800 for the night so far and I’ve still got a good couple of hours to go. Chapter 11 is done and I’m super stoked that I finished an entire chapter in one day. After the snail’s pace of my writing for the past couple of months this big push feels pretty exciting. Time for a quick break though.

Day 1, Entry 5

3:54 AM: I could probably write for a little longer but I feel like I’ve done exceptionally well for the first day of this big push. In the past two hours or so I’ve managed to lay down another 1.3k words or so bringing me to just over my 5.1k mark. I started and finished Chapter 11 and now I’m well into Chapter 12. Things are moving faster now as well, probably because I’m excited about what’s happening. I’ve finally made it past the bits I was having trouble deciding on and now I get to make up the history of my world whole cloth as the big secret is revealed to Stephen. Only took 1.5 books to get there. 🙂 Time to veg out for a bit doing one last round of auctions and call it a night.

Day 2, Entry 1

3:20 PM: Started the day a little later than intended but I was also a little more worn out than usual. Not surprising given the amount of work I managed to put in yesterday. I have to say I am very happy with my progress so far. It definitely provides some positive motivation to keep going. So I was up a little before 2 PM, grabbed some breakfast, picked up my roommate, snagged the mail and a shower, checked my auctions (slowly but surely seeing a positive cash flow trend there), and now it is time to get down to business. Let’s see what I can get done in the next hour or so.

4:14 PM: Less than an hour later and I’ve done a little over 1k words. This chapter is definitely coming easy, though not quite as expected. I’m feeling much better now about the story since I’ve managed to put myself back in my characters’ shoes. I definitely find that my writing tends to flow well when I’m living in the moment with my characters. And to think I used to believe that I lost a lot of my imagination as I grew up. 🙂

Day 2, Entry 2:

7:55 PM: Time is certainly flying by today! Things are definitely a little more lively with another roommate home, but that also means more interruptions. Nothing too bad though and I’ve managed to hit just over 2.7k words for the day with plenty of time left to get to my 5k minimum. I had a bit of a time falling asleep last night as my mind was very awake with ideas and imaginings for this book. I was actually tempted to get back up and keep writing but sleep is important too after all. 🙂

I took a small break after hitting 2.7k and sat around for a bit wondering what I should do. Normally I would check my auctions but it’s a bit early and the last thing I want to do during this push is get sucked into a game before I’ve finished my minimum writing quota for the day. Then I realized I still had a ton of blog entries up from Dean Wesley Smith’s site about self-publishing and writing. He is an absolute gold mine of information for new (and current) writers by the way (deanwesleysmith.com). That led me to another blog he linked with a discussion between another self-published author who has been very successful and the CEO of one of the few remaining large traditional publishers. I’m only about 10% of the way through the whole thing but it’s definitely an eye opener. It doesn’t hurt that reading about all of the other successful self-published authors out there gives me real hope that I can make a living off of my own writing within the next couple of years. Maybe sooner if I can keep up a good pace. Anyway, here is the link to the post, I would advise anyone even remotely interested in writing and self-publishing for a living to check them both out:

http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2014/01/questions-from-steve-zacharius-ceo-and.html

And now, back to the story!

Day 2, Entry 3:

2:04 AM: I didn’t get back to the book right away. Ended up reading a lot more of the blog post I linked in the last entry. Still not even halfway done so it’s quite the post. Then the Cat got home from work and it was time for dinner and catching up on our days. I always enjoy this part of the day. It’s a nice break from whatever I was doing and the only chance we get during the week to spend time together. Put her to bed around 1 AM and went back to the book. Managed to get a little over 1.5k done but I’m starting to feel a little worn out. I’m not too worried about hitting 5k though since I’m only about 700 words shy of the mark. Chapter 12 has been a pretty big emotional roller coaster for Stephen. It’s been a lot of fun, but tough to do. Definitely time for a break.

Day 2, Entry 4:

4:31 AM: And that’s all she wrote. Stick a fork in me, I’m done. Got stuck for a bit after the break so the break got longer. It wasn’t a real ‘oh crap I’m stuck’ moment, more I’m getting too tired to think of anything stuck. Still, inspiration struck before it got too late and I managed to churn out another 1100 words. This brings today’s total up to 5,435. Somehow managed to do more than yesterday despite more interruptions and less time to write. I’m sure I’ll be more impressed and happy with myself when I wake up well rested tomorrow. Ta ta for now.

Day 3, Entry 1:

4:01 PM: Didn’t sleep too well last night. If I thought it was difficult getting to sleep the first night, last night showed me what real trouble was. Didn’t help that I woke up around 9 AM because it was too hot in the place and had to turn on the AC. Took almost two hours to get back to sleep. So now I’m a bit tired, but I’ve had breakfast, handled my auctions, and did a little research for the upcoming move. The fun really started when I decided to scan through my book as it stands so far. I realized my chapters jumped from 7 to 9. Definitely had a bit of a freak out there as I didn’t know if it was a simple numbering error or if I’d managed to delete an entire chapter out of the thing. I had to skim chapters 6, 7, and 9 before I was satisfied it was just a numbering error. Not sure I would have been able to stick with this big push if I had actually managed to delete a good chunk of my book. Regardless, this just points out that I need to keep separate files for each chapter. I did that with the first book but decided to try it a bit differently this time. Well, the experiment is over and the verdict is separate is safer. With that little bit of drama behind me it’s time to figure out where the hell the story is going to go now.

Day 3, Entry 2:

8:49 PM: I have definitely hit a story wall of sorts. Only managed to put down 750 words so far today. One scene basically. That was when I realized I didn’t have much outlined for the rest of the book and I didn’t have any real details on the ending, just some vague ideas. Thankfully with a little thought I’ve come up with an ending that I like as well as a list of things that need to be covered before the book can be done. The previous chapter revealed a whole lot of new info to the main character and reader both and there will be even more coming in the next couple of chapters. It’s fun but also challenging since I’m making up a lot of background for my world. Specific details now that I didn’t explain or reveal previously. At this point I need to just remember to go with the flow and let the story proceed naturally. I do like having a couple of brief points to reference when I write something this long but I also don’t want to rely on them too much. It will be time for dinner very soon so I’ll have to pick the writing back up afterwards. Hopefully things start moving along nicely. I’ve still got a ways to go today.

Day 3, Entry 3:

3:26 AM: Almost bed time and I’m only about 2,600 words in for the day. That will have to do though as I’m pretty well done now. The word count is definitely a little disappointing, but things should be much less distracting around the house after today so I’m hopeful I’ll be able to make up the difference pretty easily. I do really like the new ending I’ve come up with and I am very ready to be done with this book so the push will continue!

Day 4, Entry 1:

6:28 PM: This day started much earlier than the others mostly because I woke up far too early and couldn’t get back to sleep. That will mean either a nap soon or an early turn-in tonight. Still, it’s been a fairly productive day so far. Went out to get some errands done and then came back to bounce ideas I have about where this book is going off of my Cat. We came up with some refinements that I think will work very well and I’m feeling much better about where the rest of the story is going. I definitely have enough items to cover to provide a satisfying story so even if the book doesn’t make it to the 100k word mark it should at least be more than 80k. Definitely a respectable number. Just have to keep reminding myself that most authors don’t write 1,000 page novels like Robert Jordan did. 🙂 About 1,300 words down so far and it’s early yet. Things are looking good for today.

Day 5, Entry 1:

4:47 AM: Ended yesterday at just under 1.4k words. I little disappointing but I found I just couldn’t manage any more. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the point where I’m putting down 4 or 5k words a day like some authors do, but right now I’m just trying not to over do it. To that effect, I’m not putting a minimum requirement on my daily writing. I’m still pushing to finish this book on time, but I’m not going to kill myself to do it. I ended up going to bed very early yesterday and was asleep before midnight. I slept until almost 3:30 PM so I was definitely exhausted. I ended up going down for a nap around 6 for an hour or so. Not sure why I’m so tired, but I definitely felt better after the nap. Didn’t get to the writing until almost 2 AM but did 1.7k words in one go.

I wasn’t real sure how to start chapter 13 so I just picked up where I left off and decided to see where that would take Stephen. He was sitting in the agency cab getting driven to the airport for his official Induction. So I wondered what I would do in his place if I was stuck in a car with two people who weren’t talking to me going somewhere I didn’t know anything about and I’d just discovered there are non-humans in the world and that I’m basically a very rare human empath. Then it was obvious: try out my powers of course. Who wouldn’t?

So far I find this works pretty well for getting the specifics of a scene down. I have a general setting and I know what the next scene is but I have no idea just how the story is going to get there. I still get stuck at this point pretty easily until I just put myself in my character(s)’ place and reason it out from there. I rather enjoyed this scene though I hadn’t thought of what actually happened at all until I started writing it. Then it was a game of, well if he does this, what happens then? And then? The scene just flowed from there. It’s getting pretty late (early) now but I’m tempted to continue while I’m on a roll.

Day 6, Entry 1:

1:01 AM: I got a to a little over 2k words last night when the Cat woke up and came to get me for bed. Who was I to argue? Another very late start today but with the Cat home we were busy with regular life stuff. Dinner was a particularly amazing affair with extra spicy stir fry. I ate far too much of that for comfort but it was too tasty to leave alone. The Cat is in bed now so it’s about time to get back to Stephen. I did finish the scene in the cab for the most part and now they’ve made it to the airport. I short transition there should bring him up to the Induction. Then it’s off to meet Riah’s father and learn more about Stephen’s abilities. The pace is definitely picking up and there aren’t a whole lot of major plot points to cover before the finale. Not sure this book will make it to 100k words but I’m okay with it whatever length it ends up being.

Oh, the print cover for the first book, Induction, is finished! That is an incredibly exciting thing as it means that I can work on the final formatting of the file, perhaps send it out for a quick edit, and then send everything off to the POD service and wait for the sample. We are on track for a July release in print. 🙂

Day 7, Entry 1:

7:41 PM: Yesterday ended up being another 2k day. Definitely not the pace I was originally hoping for but double my old daily minimum. Part of the issue is just not having a separate space to write in. The new place we move to will have that space so I’m definitely looking forward to that. I’ll be keeping distractions to a minimum with just writing/homework stuff in the room. No TV, gaming PC, etc. Also a door that closes. 😉  We looked at moving trucks today. The new place is fairly close so that’s going to be the cheapest part of this experience. Oh, found some excellent paint to turn an entire wall into a whiteboard. Really looking forward to being able to scribble out all kinds of story notes on such a huge space. I’m also going to block out a calendar as well so I can track deadlines and such. Obviously there won’t be a whole lot there just yet but I’m sure it will help inspire me to write more.

Day 7, Entry 2:

8:49 PM: Only managed about 500 words so far but the fact that I’ve started writing BEFORE 2 AM is a big plus. There was also the break to do dishes so not a bad word count for less than an hour’s work. The Cat is bored now so work will have to wait for a bit. Almost done with Chapter 13. The story is progressing nicely. I’m hoping the next three days will be very productive since I’ll have the place all to myself for a good part of the day.

Day 7, Entry 3:

4:32 AM: Today was almost par for the course. I ended at just over 2.5k words, and that’s only because of the 500 I got done before dinner. There were a whole mess of distractions between that first 500 and the rest. Still, chapter 13 is done and I have a new character that I really really like. Already. It’s funny too because this new character was completely unplanned. I knew I was going to end the chapter with Stephen meeting the Shroud envoy, but I’d originally planned it to be Riah’s father. By the time I got there in the story though, he really didn’t fit the scene so I had to make up a new one right there. I switched out Riah’s father because I wanted someone sympathetic. I decided that the Council wasn’t likely to send the person who’d pestered them into the Induction request in the first place. Of course, this envoy is a bit more important than anyone yet know. 😉

Every time I think I’m getting bored with the writing or this book (and it happens pretty often), I surprise myself by loving the experience. I hate how long it takes and wish my fingers could move at the speed of my imagination. Well, I also wish my mind could come up with the language to match my imagination as fast as I can imagine scenes and such. Dream on I suppose. 🙂

The best part about this last bit I’ve put down is how smoothly it will lead to the next important point in the story, though I think it’s time for a little interjection so we can find out what’s happening back on the ranch.

Day 8, Entry 1:

3:59 AM: Not much progress made today. Only put down about 1,500 more words. I let myself get distracted by too many little things today. Though if I weren’t pushing to meet my deadline I’d be perfectly happy with my progress. I’ve written more in the past 8 days than I have in the last 2 months so that’s definitely an accomplishment. At any rate, tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to really kick some butt.

Day 9, Entry 1:

1:57 AM: I’ve done about 2,100 words to far in two separate sessions. Took a break after the last one to re-post my auctions in WoW. That particular experiment has so far had only mediocre success but is steadily earning funds for future adventuring. 🙂  Due to laziness all 900+ items come up for re-posting at the same time. Funny enough that’s been more efficient than logging in 3 or 4 times a day to do more posts. Now I just log it to see how much I’ve sold.

Back in writing land things are still moving along. The current chapter switched to Stephen’s friends worrying about what the bad guys are up to. The ever-paranoid and devious Leon has postulated a very dire possibility that the rest of the gang is pretty upset about. Next up we get some more Kara action to keep her relevant to the story and then it’s back to Stephen for the actual Induction ceremony (maybe, I might just do a quick blurb where he’s thinking about how anti-climactic it was.) More fun world-building and information revelations await Stephen. 🙂 I’ve got just enough in me for one more session so I’m going to try and make it count.

Day 9, Entry 2:

2:38 AM: Chapter 14 is now done and this is definitely a good place to stop. I need to figure out what I’m doing about the ceremony since that will likely be the start of 15. There are only a handful of important plot points left until the big finish. The book should break 80k words easily but I don’t know how much longer it will be. I think it will depend on just how much action and mayhem happens at the end and I’ll be playing that by ear. Of course, I play the whole thing by ear so that’s not saying anything significant. Anywho, it’s about time for an early bed since I’ll be getting up far too early for my taste.

Day 10, Entry 1:

6:01 PM: Time is running short since the deadline is approaching quickly. I did end up doing the actual Induction ceremony for Stephen. Mostly because it gives more insight into how things work between the Shroud Council and the government. After that it will be time to get Stephen some much needed training. Somewhere in there will be the meeting with Riah’s father as well so that should be interesting. I’ve managed a little over 1k words today so far so I’m off to a good start. I’ve got a lot of computer maintenance to perform today as well so that should actually help since a lot of it will be sitting around waiting for the computer to finish its task.

Day 10, Entry 2:

12:25 AM: Going to have to call it early today. Feeling pretty sick to my stomach and I managed to pull something in my shoulder. I’m sure the nausea will pass but until it does it’s impossible to concentrate on anything.

Day 11, Entry 1:

12:59 AM: Another day with little progress. Managed to do about 1,500 words but I’m falling asleep at my keyboard and mistyping almost every other word. I’m not too disappointed though as I’ve almost doubled the word count for my book over the past 11 days. No small accomplishment considering it took me several months to get the first half of the book down. As Mr. Dean Wesley Smith is constantly saying in his blog it just takes a little daily dedication to make big things happen when it comes to writing. I’m thankful that this big push has reminded me of that.

Day 12, Entry 1:

3:01 AM: This is the last day of the big push. I won’t hit my original goal of finishing the book but I have effectively doubled how much of the book is done in 12 days. No small feet that considering my snail’s pace before the push. I’ll be taking a day or two off for recovery & life stuff that needs to get done. I’m also still pushing to have this book finished before we move so I’ve still got a couple of weeks for that.

So to summarize:

Book words finished during big push:

Day 1 – 5,151

Day 2 – 5,435

Day 3 – 2,600

Day 4 – 1,396

Day 5 – 2,000

Day 6 – 2,000

Day 7 – 2,582

Day 8 – 1,500

Day 9 – 2,860

Day 10 – 1,379

Day 11 – 1,500

Day 12 – 1,400

Total words in novel to date: 66,404

Too Late?

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

I sometimes wonder if I’ve waited too long to figure things out. Looking back to when I was much younger than I am now, I was a pretty confident kid. Not with the other kids around me or social situations in general, but with what I wanted and what I was going to do with my life. I know a good part of that was just lack of exposure to and experience with the world as it is. We all dream about what we want to be “when we grow up”. (at least I hope we all get a chance to do so) The problem with this though, is that we have no clue what it really means to grow up. Society has a pretty good idea, but that’s just a mixture of expectations, upbringing, and various pressures put upon us. We have our own ideas of course. For me, it was all about getting a great job. That seemed to be the key to happiness, stability, and well-being.

I was confident in this path I’d set myself all of the way up to college. I had some big expectations for my college experience. Fun was definitely a part of the equation, but more importantly I expected that I would be excited and satisfied that I was finally learning about my chosen vocation (Computer Science in this case). Of course, the reality was something else entirely. After putting up with all of the learning requirements in high school I was looking forward to choosing just what I wanted to learn. Well hold on there buddy, you’ve got a bunch of general education requirements you have to meet before you can even think about taking classes actually related to your major! Yeah, that was the first slap in the face. It’s not that I don’t understand why this is the case, but I was very impatient to get on with the whole process. Still, I decided to take my medicine and loaded down with the damn things. I took upwards of 18 credit hours my second semester in order to get the crap out of the way. So that first year was a big review of a lot of the crap I’d just got done with in high school. The biggest difference was just how little anyone cared if I showed up to my classes or not. Most of my classes didn’t take attendance so it was on me to make sure I showed up and learned enough to pass my tests. It was also a lot less busy that high school. It was a strange adjustment.

So it wasn’t until the second year that I finally had my first programming course. I was excited for that and I was also excited to have a room to myself. Like most schools, it was nearly impossible for a freshman to get a single room. I was a sophomore now though. These turned out to be two things I would regret. For the room thing, I hadn’t realized how much my roommate and friend from my freshman year had kept me on point. We’d encouraged each other to go to classes when we would have rather stayed in bed or whatever. Without that encouragement I had a much harder time making myself go to some of my more pointless classes. Still, now I had a course for my major. Great right? Well, no. I don’t know about anyone else, but having a programming class in an auditorium with hundreds of other students was not conducive to learning such a complicated progress. I wasn’t new to programming or anything, but I was all self-taught up to that part. I had (and still have) a lot of holes in what I knew. So the class was already a struggle. Add the terrible format onto that and I was horribly discouraged. As that first semester drew to a close I realized I couldn’t stick with my plan. It wasn’t what I’d expected at all. I didn’t want to do it anymore. So I left. Dropped out and joined the work force.

This was a big decision for me but the job market was much better back then. With my computer skills I was still able to land decent, but not great jobs. I bought a house at 20 or 21 and had a steady job for several years. I worked, saved for retirement, paid my taxes, tried to exercise and eat right, etc, etc, etc. I played by the rules and followed the herd. I did okay for awhile, but it became evident that my position was a dead end. I got little raises but I was never going to have the big success I’d dreamed of there. I didn’t stress too much about it most of the time though. I had plenty of time after all. Then the company I worked for was bought out and the layoffs started. I lasted a little over a year after that. I was one of the last people to leave in fact. The whole thing was a depressing experience though, watching the new parent company destroy everything piece by piece. I heard later that they eventually sold off what was left a couple of years later. Fun times. So after that, I wasn’t able to land another decent job that would support my house. I had to sell it, cash out my retirement to pay for the closing, and moved to another state with my sister. I bummed around for about a year doing short contract jobs, trying to find something good while I waited to go back to school. That didn’t happen though and I ended up joining the Navy.

I did six years in the service. When I came up for re-enlisting I wanted to switch jobs. That wasn’t an option though so I got out and ended up doing the same work as a civilian. That was a strange experience. It was nice not being in the military while still doing the job, but my experiences with the contracting companies were pretty bad. I spent the first two months of this year waiting to get paid. Never a good sing when your company can’t afford to pay its employees. So yet another layoff later, I came to the decision that I was going to take this opportunity to make some changes in my life. I’d gone with the flow for a long time. A really long time. I’m more than a little tired of that. So here I am, back home near my family and friends. I’m living with two of the greatest people I’ve ever known and we’re all making a real go at this. I have a chance to go back to college. (Let’s hope H.R. 357 passes soon!)  I also have the chance to do something I enjoy doing and possibly make a living doing it. I just wonder sometimes if it’s a bit too late?

I suppose I’ve been having a crisis of confidence for a couple of weeks now. I have a hard time sitting down and getting any writing done. Part of it is I’m just not happy with the section of the book I’m in right now. I’m struggling to bring it together. I know where it needs to go and I have a pretty good idea for the climax, but getting there has been tricky. I’m happy that I still have a feel for my characters. When I do manage to get into the flow of things I have no trouble being right there with them as things happen. I guess I just feel a bit overwhelmed at times. There are so many things I want to do, not just with this book or Stephen’s story, but with my writing in general. I’m almost certainly dwelling too much on the big picture instead of concentrating on the day to day tasks. Self-publishing is fun but very intimidating. Writing a book is the same. The funny thing is, I had an easier time writing the first book when I was working full time. At least it seems that way.

I’m not going to let this self-doubt beat me though. I truly am looking forward to getting back to school. It will be strange being the old guy in the class. I remember sitting with and older guy in my math logic class back in the day. He was actually in the military though I don’t remember which branch at this point. He had a wife and kids but was also doing the college thing. I do remember being impressed. I guess I get to see what it’s like on the other side.

I just hope I can pull this all off.

Writing Log: Day 3 – Month 2

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

It’s been a couple of days since I’ve had a chance to get any writing done. Saturday was not the awesome opportunity to get work done that I’d hoped it would be. No matter, I’m back at it now. Not much to say except that I’m now on Chapter 3. I was struggling a little how to move on from where I was in the story but thankfully a good idea hit me in the shower. 🙂

 

Writing Log – Day 3 Month 2

Transformation (Second Shroud Novel) –  14,172 words to date (1048 today)

Other Fiction – 0

Blog Entries – 105

Emails – 0

Total Fiction This Month: 3,122

Total Words This Month: 3,610

Writing Log: Day 4 – Month 1

This entry is part [part not set] of 73 in the series The Writing Life Blog

As I started this log towards the end of the month, there will only be 7 days for month 1 of my log. It seems a little silly, but at least the numbers for next month will make it look like I’ve started working like I’m possessed. 🙂

Just a small amount of work done on the book today. It was a pretty busy day. Still, one of the things I learned writing my first book was to not be too hard on myself when I missed a day of writing or couldn’t quite hit my goal. It’s going to happen sometimes and beating myself up over it will only make it harder to keep this up.

Writing Log – Day 4 Month 1

Transformation (Second Shroud Novel) –  8,781 words to date (535 today)

Other Fiction – 0

Blog Entries – 144

Emails – 0

Total Fiction This Month: 9,875

Total Words This Month: 12,155