With just two finals left this semester will be done before I know it. This has been making me anxious. Mostly because it means that my schedule next week and going forward will be up to me and it would be nice if I could manage to not waste this free time. After all how many 30 something’s get a real summer break? I know I never thought it would be possible once I was neck deep in the soul sucking 9 to 5 grind. To that end I’ve been thinking that it’s time to brainstorm and come up with a list of goals for this summer. So without further ado (and in no particular order), here is the list:
Write book 3 of Stephen’s trilogy
Do my own Let’s Play series with the Terraria 1.3 patch
Do video readings for some of my short fiction
Finish re-edits for Transformation & Induction
Edit and publish Avatars & Identity
Complete at least one Let’s Play + VG Writing Series (Fuzzy Adventures)
Compile, edit, and publish the class fiction and poetry book
Find and check out local writing meetup and social groups
Design BFG Publishing website
Shampoo the carpet
Move my desk
Re-organize this blog
Write more short fiction & poetry (At least 1 poem & 1 short story/flash fiction per week)
Send stuff to magazines/publishers every week
Continue the Live Writing series or combine with some of the above
Whew. Looking at this list I realize that I have my work cut out for me this summer. This to-do list is in addition to the usual goofing around and just having fun that will be required to stay sane. I’m also going to have to prioritize if I want to get even half of this done. The Fuzzy Adventures series is something I’ve been thinking about most of this semester. I love video games and I love writing & reading. I wanted to combine those somehow. That’s when I struck on the idea for re-visiting some of the games that I loved so much as a kid and doing a combination let’s play with an episodic writing series. The basic idea is that I’ll play a game in sections and write a story to go along with it, also in sections. Basically I’d have a separate area of this blog devoted to these series with each game getting it’s own sub-section. Each blog entry would be an episode of the story and video both. I’ve got a short list of games I’m considering, but I’ll probably start with something short like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night instead of an epic length game like Final Fantasy 6.
I’m thinking the other thing I’ll need to help keep me on track is some kind of daily schedule. I’m not very good at sticking to schedules that I come up with on my own but I might need to give it a shot. Anyway, glad I finally got all of these thoughts down. The list reminded me that I’m missing a couple of key pieces of hardware that I’ll need for a number of these ideas. Amazon ho!
It’s almost 1 AM now and I’m still awake. Despite having morning class tomorrow and knowing that being up this late is going to make me super tired for my favorite class. This isn’t the first night this week I ended up late. Why? I’ve been asking myself that very same question and so far I don’t really have an answer.
Things aren’t particularly bad right now even if I do have a tone of work from school. With just three weeks left of classes, plus one week of finals, things are getting pretty intense. The two literature classes that were manageable all semester have become a bit overwhelming. Yet really it’s just a lot of reading. Nothing I’m not used to in the end. Except I’m having trouble sitting down and doing it. I’m distracted and I have trouble concentrating.
Dead Wesley Smith talks about writing into the dark on his blog. It’s the phrase he uses to describe writing when you have no plan, no plot, and no idea what you’re going to write about. You just start writing and go. I really like this idea and I’ve been itching to try it. Then I realized that’s pretty much what I always do with my blog entries. I don’t have a plan. Sometimes I have a thought and that’s my starting point. One little thought. Tonight my thoughts are rioting among the streets and alleyways of my mind and it’s making me crazy.
I’m sad and depressed, yet hopeful and determined. Mixed feelings describes it well. Then there’s the fear. The nagging, little voice in the back of my head fear that this is all going to come crashing down and I’m just a stupid little idiot for every thinking I could pull off writing for a living.
A poem written about fear and anxiety. By Aaron Lowe
I’m watching a little movie that came out in 1990 called Pump Up the Volume. Again. I’m not sure how many times I’ve watched it, but it’s definitely over 20 but less than 100. It’s become my go-to movie when I don’t know what I want to watch, or even when I don’t know what to do. If I were to sum it up I’d call it a coming of age story about a high school pirate radio DJ who is searching for meaning in life. The funny thing about this movie is I hadn’t seen it until 2006 or 2007. Go figure.
On the one hand I find the dated aspects of the movie really amusing. In part because I remember what it was like. I wasn’t quite in high school by 1990 so it was probably a bit over my head at the time. On the other hand, I feel like the search for meaning, the struggle to figure out who we are: these things are timeless. Perhaps that is why I come back to this movie again and again. In the end the message of the movie is to find and use your voice. The movie uses pirate radio DJ’s but it was made before blogging or any of the other many free and easily accessed methods people can use to get their thoughts and whatever out into the ether. I myself sat in front of the family computer many a night wishing I could do or write something meaningful, then put it out there for other people. Some things never change I suppose.
Dream on folks. Find your voice and use it.
A Fuzzy Nerd's take on life, love, and the pursuit of awesomeness.
